Long Time, No Talk;

So, I haven't been on this blog in over a year. In truth, I became very involved with a guy and my eating disorder took the back burner. Another truth is that I've gained SO MUCH weight. Alot has happened over this year. Alot that would take too long to explain. Where I'm at right now: -I quit swimming competitively. -I am with an amazing boy, today is our 8th month together. He is lovely and I am undeserving. -I am 153 lbs and look fatter than I have in my entire life. -Everyday I try to start over with a "diet" and by night time it fails miserably. I think starting back on this blog will help me gain some control over my habits and hopefully have some support. I binge and purge still occasionally, but bulimia definitely does not define me like it used to and I'm trying to put it in my past for good. I want to lose 25 lbs at least by July....which is less than a month. Is that even possible? I've been trying to keep everyday under 500 calories but it is not working out. Honestly I just need support again. Sorry for this long break.